Fad Diets

When I was a teenager and in my early 20's I was convinced I was fat and was forever going on fad diets.( In reality I had Nana's hips, often referred to as childbearing in our family, the cruel irony) These diets were so ridiculous that today they probably wouldn't even make it to publication as they mainly involved stavation rations and limiting yourself to one food. So eventually I would break the diet and gorge on cheese and rich foods things like that.

I'm displaying the same pattern of behaviour with pregnancy tests now. My theory is that it's the same principle of denial. You eventually binge when you keep denying yourself things. When I statred IVF JC banned me from doing pregnancy tests. For 16-17 months before I religiously tested every month sometimes twice and he saw me get more and more frustrated and upset. So I agreed to take a break.

However, there is no stopping me now. Because I was on holidays and had lots of time to worry I decided to start doing them. I didn't tell JC but he saw some wrapping in the bin and guessed. Eventually I came clean and told him and found out he already knew.

I told himI couldn't control it and if I'm pregnant I'm going to do a pregnancy test every week just to see the two pink lines. I might even take one in to work and show the hens. I might even frame it.

I know it's too early to tell yet only 5,6 and 7 days past transfer, so I probably keeping doing them except for next week when I'm on camp.