Questions

Q. When is implantation cramping and spotting not implantation?

A. When your period arrives 5 days later. (Boom Boom)

Q. Since when has dog training turned into a fertility festival?

A. Obviously it changed when J and I spent the last 3-4 weekends doing normal stuff like attending one million kids' birthday parties and having the odd quick transfer here and there.
This is how it panned out. Think about masstiff's owner and decide she must be having baby and won't turn up. She turns up 8 months gone. Wonder if border collies owner will be there, of course and not only that but she is now 4 months pregnant. Then Maltese x owner turns up, haven't seen her for ages. Trainer introduces her to class for people who don't know her and says she has 3 dogs and a son. She then announces to everyone that she has another on the way, even though her stomach is as flat as a pancake. J and I stand off to the side, he comments that we have just been ambushed. Thank God king Charles cavilier's owner is not here, she's gone away to recover from another failed ivf. Me I'm just generally pissed off and Big Leo, my normally social butterfly Airedale thinks it's funny to antagonise other dogs until they snap and want to rumble with him. I must have channeled by mood through him.

Q. When did our school change it's name to fertility high, bar one?

A. When another teacher is pregnant after only working here for 10 weeks. (That's 3 at school and 2 on maternity leave, and me feeling like the dunce.)

One more day and on holidays, intend to do following, eat chocolate, drink red wine, read, do all the heavy weeding and gardening work I was avoiding in case I was pregnant ( that's a good one), phaff around, spring clean, plan birthday bash for Cup Day, attend races with syndicate group and drop a whole lot of money on the GG's. (After all apparently we are flushing it down the loo with ivf, so I might as well have a chance of winning something). Get a massage or two, go away to the beach for a few days. Will post again when know FET.