If anyone is listening out there

I know it's been a long time but I want to finish off this blog and update.

2007 was a horrible year for us. We did another cycle of IVF and again nothing after transfers. Mid year we did PGD and all 10 embryos were duds. I couldn't stop crying for days and luckily it coincided with my holidays.

One more cycle after that, a transfer and BFN, but got the donor talk. I was in two minds about this but felt humbled when both my sisters and my sister in law offered. My younger sister cycled in December, but had to be canceled as she overstimmed and would have had OHSS if she went on.

2008: She cycled again in January and the transfer was successful. I had very good beta scores but started bleeding and my progesterone was dropping. I had to use more pessaries, but this didn't work and I miscarried in March at about 6 weeks. We did a FET after that but that didn't work.

I was in two minds about my sister cycling again as I know how it feels. She said that we got close and had to try again. So we did. I always knew my little sister was special, kind and caring. We were crying and she said I just want to make it right for you. So this last chance has worked. Tomorrow I will be 13 weeks pregnant with twins. We are still scared, but feeling a little bit more confident every day. It hasn't been without dramas as the same thing happened at the start betas rising and bleeding and progesterone falling. This time after my 4th Beta the nurses rang me at work and said get in here as fast as you can and we will inject you with gestone. Within 24hrs the bleeding had stopped,but not my shaking. My Dr gave me 3 days off so I could calm down. He also scanned me, just before I told him I was convinced that it was all over, instead we saw 2 sacs. So until I was 10 weeks, every second day I went to the hospital and had a gestone shot.

Our 12 week scan was very good and even though the nuchal folds were good and the overall scores good, we have an amnio on the 16th Feb. I'm nervous about it, but convinced it's the right thing to do.

And after all this time of TTC and on IVF I thought I wouldn't complain, but the nausea and vomiting have been intense. I spent the school holidays mainly in bed or on the couch. My Dr prescribed me anti nausea tablets but they don't work. In some way I welcome the vomitting and nausea as at least I know the pregnancy is still OK.

Still cautious but starting to breathe a little easier.