FET on Wednesday

I went out with the hens on Sunday for a late lunch. So much for abstaining from alcohol. We bought a cheap bottle of red and all had some. I had 2 glasses and immediately felt pissed. The tell tale signs of rosacea are in the photos. It doesn't take much. I put it down to being brought up in a strict teatotalling family, therefore I never developed a tolerance to it, and only being 5 foot 2. It was fun as we laughed, gossiped and forgot about things for a while. I even coped with pregnancy talk although I still kept wishing I was pregnant and part of that club with my friends.

I'm trying to keep positive. I don't mean in that ridiculous "baby dust" "sticky thoughts" way. As much as I love www.ivfconnections.com, when I first saw some of that stuff I was a little embarrassed. I resent people telling me I have to think positive and relax. I do yoga, meditation, those ivf relaxation cds and hypno once a week . I can't explain to people how positive I have been in the past. How much I willed IVF to work, how much I tried to hold on to my baby. In the end it's mentally exhausting and you have to let reality in or go insane. Even then I have small nervy B's.

I surged on Sunday morning and cancelled my blood test. Transfer is on Wednesday. I don't know what time yet as I have to call the nurses tomorrow. I'm hoping it is in the afternoon as I'm not teaching classes and it will be easier to get away from school. It's exciting but nerve wracking as well. I just want it to work and I want to be pregnant again. I don't know how I'll handle a crash, even with 5 in storage.