Down Under

I created this blog to help me as I go through IVF. I feel quite isolated and have found other blogs very helpful. I need somewhere to vent and ramble on, whilst I'm probed and prodded down under.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Personal Question Attack at the Photocopier

I'm having a hard time. I can't seem to pull myself out of the sadness and worry. I just don't feel normal, there are always tears not far from the surface. I feel safe at home and being with my husband. Other than that I'm messy. It seems to be particularly bad at work.

Ban (hen) saw me in the photo copy room and told me how much the hens are worried about me and stuff. I had a bit of a cry and said I can't help it, things are setting me off all the time and I need to withdraw. She said that can be good, it can also mean healing. So I felt better. Then she left and I said I would meet her at her desk to look at her new mobile. Enter the biggest school gossip. She charged me and started firing rapid personal questions at me. Are you pregnant again? Are you still trying? Are you trying now? Are you going back again? (what ever the fuck that's suppose to mean). I mumbled some answers then told her I didn't want to talk about it. But now felt like shit again. She might as well have asked what position and how often.

When I got home I told J, he was a little shocked. My only explanation is that she goes on long service leave today and wanted the latest gossip, so she could pass it on to the other gossips. Like her final coup. I felt like writing a big annonymous "Fuck off then to Europe" on her card, instead I didn't write anything.

4 Comments:

At 8:03 PM, Blogger ankaisa said...

That is just awful! Right now I'm just glad that there are mostly me at my workplace. I hope she never comes back.

And I'm sorry you are feeling like shit. Believe me, I know how that feels. But I do hope it is just a part of the healing process!

 
At 4:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry you are having a hard time. If it makes you feel any better, today I sat at my desk with my face turned to the wall, pretending to be deeply engrossed in what I was reading and crying quietly, while a hoard of people stood cooing over a new baby not 15 feet away. The fun!

 
At 2:25 AM, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Oh Meg, I was wondering how you were doing! I think you should just go with your feelings and if you don't want to talk or socialise, that's OK too.

We have all been there and your hormones are still all to pot too. Cut yourself some slack, girl.

How is the prep for the FET going? Thinking of you and the precious popsicles!

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

God people are fucked sometimes arent they. Why does anyone think they have the right to drill you with such intimate questions?

I hope the office gossips settle down and leave you alone, but if not...I think you're perfectly entitled to tell them to mind their own business.

 

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