Personal Question Attack at the Photocopier

I'm having a hard time. I can't seem to pull myself out of the sadness and worry. I just don't feel normal, there are always tears not far from the surface. I feel safe at home and being with my husband. Other than that I'm messy. It seems to be particularly bad at work.

Ban (hen) saw me in the photo copy room and told me how much the hens are worried about me and stuff. I had a bit of a cry and said I can't help it, things are setting me off all the time and I need to withdraw. She said that can be good, it can also mean healing. So I felt better. Then she left and I said I would meet her at her desk to look at her new mobile. Enter the biggest school gossip. She charged me and started firing rapid personal questions at me. Are you pregnant again? Are you still trying? Are you trying now? Are you going back again? (what ever the fuck that's suppose to mean). I mumbled some answers then told her I didn't want to talk about it. But now felt like shit again. She might as well have asked what position and how often.

When I got home I told J, he was a little shocked. My only explanation is that she goes on long service leave today and wanted the latest gossip, so she could pass it on to the other gossips. Like her final coup. I felt like writing a big annonymous "Fuck off then to Europe" on her card, instead I didn't write anything.