Not So Bad

Well we went to the birthday party, half and hour after receiving the news on Sunday. Timing universe, fucking timing!

My Sil, bless her, is the best fertile friend an infertile can have. I told her what happened, we both blinked away tears. She had a bottle of red and we quickly hoed in. She rested her glass on her very pregnant stomach and I kept going and ended up drinking 3. For me that's quite a lot. We then ate lots of curry.

There was another pregnant woman at the party, I know from J's cousin that she has been on IVF. She came up to us at the party and immediately asked if we had kids. Then said don't worry about it, it took us 10 years. It was so awkward, I didn't really know what to say besides "no" and neither did J. Granted she doesn't know our story, but I can't imagine doing that to anyone. J went right off when we got in the car to go home. He was annoyed with her because she continually rubbed her stomach, all night, sitting or standing etc.

The thing that made me cry on the way home was all the beautiful Burgher children. I want my own caffe latte coloured child. One of the babies was 6 months old with big green eyes, I wanted to hold him, but didn't trust myself to hold it together if I did.

J was at his cousin's (S's) house on Tuesday and she said her pregnant friend was actually mortified with what she had said to us. J told S what had happened before we came and she was upset. You see S is one of those ivf urban legends, she went through it and many years of infertility and stopped and conceived naturally. She understands what it's like and she said she was driven mad by children's birthday parties and certain relatives thrusting babies into her arms. She doesn't speak to some people any more after dealing with IF.

On an IVF note, I'm just waiting for my period. Then flare cycle, which I prefer, no BCP. Also trying to track down an acupunturist who knows about ivf ( Thanks for your help Lili).

School note, my new classes this semester are dream boats. Two are advanced learners and the other class is very calm. No big discipline issues, so I haven't had to do my nut at them. Yesterday one of the senoir students flashed his bum at the rest of the students in the senoir centre. How he thought we wouldn't see is beyond me, we call our office the fishbowl. It's kind of funny now, although he is suspended for his efforts.