Seems we got a lucky break.

Yesterday I rang the clinic to get my transfer time. So far so good as they didn't transfer me to the nurses. I had spent the day at the museum with my younger sister and my nephews. It was packed full of kids and mums. I felt so jealous.

On the top floor of the museum we went to visit Phar Lap, my favourite since I was a kid and one of the reasons I'm in a race horse owning syndicate. Their were a whole lot of bored high school students sitting around. I heard one ask their tired looking teacher an annoying question along the lines of why do we have to be here. I immediately felt sick, it's so nice to do my own thing and not have to put up with "cool" teenagers all the time.

When I got home from the city I expected J to have bad news when I got in, but no phone call. By 5.00pm J said we were safe, I was still freaked and thought they might ring with bad news in the morning. Our last FET in January was cancelled and last year 3 embryos didn't thaw out successfully.

This morning I could hardly speak I was so nervous and my Dr was about 20 minutes late. We got into the transfer room and he said both had successfully thawed and were dividing. J and I both finally drew a breath, we told him we had been waiting for the phone call. I can't figure this IVF stuff out. The 4 embryos were suppose to be better grades than these two yet those ones didn't make it and these ones have. So many unknowns and so much seems to depend on luck.

It's called a drive by.

We just got back from a family do for J's uncle. G his cousin told me that she is 16 weeks pregnant. She lost her baby last year at 20 weeks and they diagnosed an incompetent cervix. She told me she has just had her stitch put in and how stressed she is. She said she is always anxious and was convinced a few weeks ago that she had lost it. Her ob is really good as he lets her have scans nearly every week so she can reassure herself. She was telling my SIL and I that she can't believe how easily everyone else seems to have babies. She was also telling us that 3 weeks after her loss last year she went back to work and a colleague came into work with her new baby. She burst into G's office and was showing her the baby and going on about it. G said she just sat there and stared barely keeping it together. She was thinking that this woman must have thought she was a bitch. I said I understand how you felt and it's called a drive by.


Oh yeah I almost forgot to mention. Once again no urbany mythy legendy sort of things here. No having a break from IVF, whoops, I fell over and became pregnant. Had a scan yesterday and about to fire off the left ovary. Now hopes pinned on a successful thaw of last two embryos. Will go to a few shows at the comedy festival to try to take my mind off things. Although J refuses to go to "Spaznuts", the comedian has been told he will never have bio kids and has written a comedy show about it. It has had really good reviews and I heard him on the radio. J said he can't possibly think how IF could be funny.

Holiday stuff

We've been back from holidays for a about two weeks. It was quite good although there is an extended wet season in the North at the moment so most days it rained when we were there. We stocked up on wine in South Australia in McClaren Vale. An amazing little town that is so full of wineries that you could do a wine tasting crawl down the main road on foot if you wanted. I had to do all the tasting as J had a sore throat and cold, as I know nothing about wine he can blame me if it's shit.

Then we went on the Ghan (train), through Central Australia to Darwin. This was probably the low light of the trip as the carriages were really run down and the toilets smell. The service and food, however, were amazing, so if you want to sit around putting on weight and be the youngest on the carriages then this is for you. J spent his time flogging drink coasters from the bar and jamming them into every crack and cupboard he could find to try to stop the rattling noises and get some sleep.

Darwin was great especially our tour to Lichfield National Park. As we only had limited time there we booked a couple of tours to the National Parks. The original tour company we were to go with to Litchfield cancelled and put us on another company's tour. This was a stroke of luck as it was a small group and we had an amazing Aboriginal guide. He would spot Frill Necked Lizards from the road even while traveling at 100km. None of us could see them until he caught them. Then we would take photos of them, they were a bit scary and apparently can take your finger off if they bite you (photo at top of post). One of the guys on the tour commented on his amazing eyesight and reflexes to which he said, "Mate I grew up in the bush if you didn't see them you went hungry".

He also took us on a rather small boat and made crocodiles jump out of the water to eat chunks of meat. Then we went swimming in a water hole and waded through knee deep water to look at termite mounds. Some people ate termites and green ants. I thought about eating a whole fucking handful of termites as he said the Aboriginal women eat them when they are pregnant as they are high in iron and folate. Then I came to my senses and realised that probably nothing would help. The tour ended back in Darwin with champange and freshly cooked prawns. Our guide admitted that crocodiles could jump into the boat as it was pretty small, we didn't care at this stage as we were all blind. We ended up at our hotel late that night with the room spinning.

We did a tour to Kakadu with a big company and this was ok, but not as exciting as the day before. We nearly didn't make it out of Kakadu that night as the road leading out had flooded.

The next day we went to Broome in a small plane that was noisy and a little bit scary. It mainly rained in Broome, but we still got beach time in and a camel ride down the beach. On the last full day there the weather was great and we spent five hours on the beach. J got way too much sun and has just about stopped peeling today. Ironic seeing as I'm the one with the skin that burns and doesn't tan and he's the one with the Sri Lankan skin. I got sick of nagging him to put on sunblock. I got some great walks in along Cable Beach between storms and cyclones. I'm also what I describe as a recovering vegetarian. I had not eaten meat or fish for 20 something years but the last year I've been gradually eating some fish. I went nuts on it up North. I think I ate barra nearly every night and prawns as well. I have never eaten barra in Melbourne as there are often scams where other fish are substituted for them and it is very expensive down South. I still don't eat any other meat, I just can't face it.

I'm having good days and bad days on holidays some days I cry all day and don't want to get out of bed. Other days I'm ok and don't think about IF. Some days I think it was a huge mistake to take holidays as when I work, I'm so busy that I don't have time to dwell on our barrenness. It's kind of weird people keep saying to me what do you do with all your time and I then feel guilty. But I shouldn't really as it's nice to have a break from working six days a week.