21

21 eggs at pick up on Wednesday. Surprisingly I don't feel sore, my stomach is sticking out and pressing on my bladder making me go to the toilet frequently. Six embryos, much better than the last two times. Today I had two put back a grade 1 and grade 2. Hoping they will stay around.

Funny you should say that......

I actually didn't mention that last week I saw the genetic counselor to discuss PGD. We are also doing blood tests for kryotpying (spelling?). If we go ahead with PGD it will have to be next cycle and a down reg. When I expressed reservations about the down reg., as we have had the worst fertilization results on it, she said it was because I was fertile and my body preferred a short flare that worked with it's natural cycle. How frustrating it was to hear that. They can't tell me why the fuck I'm not pregnant or why I miscarried and PGD doesn't come with iron clad gaurantees. It's just all part of the general IVF shite.

There is also the draw back of an extra $2500.00 on top of the normal price, lucky for us this procedure has just had a price rise. So we won't make a decision until after the blood tests and obviously this cycle.

This is all doing my head in so in the mean time I'll look at Capt. Mal and think of Serenity.

Harvesting

I'm going with the freaky sci-fi way of saying that I'm triggering tonight and being harvested on Wednesday. This is because of J's and my obsession with Firefly , I know that I'm late to this show. Luckily J had downloaded it ages ago and only he watched a couple of episodes. I'm up to episode 5 and haven't seen the movie. I love that feeling when you get to the last episode and you want to see it, but you don't because that's it. It sure beats the junk on TV here in Australia at the moment. I don't know what it is about Big (Bogan) Brother, even the ads of the show make me feel like punching their faces in.

Now for the stats. Usual 18-20 follicles
lining 12mm
bloated thunderous thighs and belly

Amazing

Don't you think it's amazing when lurking on the two week wait board someone posts that they are 14 odd days past a 2/3/5 day transfer that they are spotting? They ask if this is late implantation bleeding and someone gets on and reassures them that it is and they had it and now have quadruplets or something like that. Because it never is for me, it's always my period.

Beta negative and now shooting Gonal-F at 300ml tonight on a good ol' flare cycle. I must need my head read, but I can't let go. Not until my ovaries totally fail, maybe then I'll get the hint. Also rather scared of failing again, I've even lost count of the number of times I've done this. Perhaps the generous funding of Medicare and the no limits on cycles no matter what your age in Australia has it's downside. While there is even a slight chance and we can use my wage to pay for it we feel we have to keep trying. Luckily my first sewing project has been a brown velvet A-line skirt, just in time to hide my Gonal-F thighs over the next 2 weeks.

Cheers!!!

"Are you getting breakfast in .....

....in bed on Sunday?" (x2)
Me: "No my dogs have learnt that trick yet."

Which is what I thought about saying after I left the butchers yesterday. Both butchers asked me. It was CD1, no surprises as I'm a rabid POAS, kind of infertile. Instead I just said no and half laughed it off. The butchers had just assumed that I have children. I got home and rang J, burst into tears and ranted about all the Mother's day stuff in my face even in the supermarket. Can't even pick up a can of lentils without it being suggested as a great gift.

So I'm expecting a phone call this afternoon with a confirmation of a negative Beta and when to pick up my meds. I must be crazy, there goes the hope of a sewing machine and the plumber came today to tell us that the pipes are completely broken and they have to dig them up and replace them. It's a fairly urgent as the toilet keeps getting blocked. I'm sure a new ager would claim that both J and are blocked and that the house is reflecting that or something similar.


I'll end with some good news. I started sewing lessons a couple of weeks ago and absolutely love them. I go twice a week as I'm still on leave. Not only that, but I'm quite good at it. I might even get around to taking up hems, being the short arse that I am.

Six random things.

I'm quite flattered as Ankasia has tagged me to write 6 weird or random things about myself. I haven't done this before, hope it doesn't bore you.


1. I'm addicted to chili, the hotter the better and I put it in everything possible. I have two different plants growing in my vegie patch claiming to be the hottest. My favourite sandwich is grated cheese with chopped up raw chilies (seeds included). My latest discovery is hot chocolate with chili in it. My husband is secretly proud that I can eat food as hot as his Sri Lankan family makes.


2. I love reading crime thrillers, one of my favourites is Karin Slaughter , her main character deals with infertility and solves hideous crimes along the way.


3. I love dogs. My first childhood memories are of asking for a pet dog. My siblings and I then grew up in dog heaven. My aunt started to breed Maltese, we always had the male dogs and she had the females and lots of little white fluffy puppies.

4. I hate the feel of icey pole sticks and wooden spoons. Ican't stand eating an icecream if it's attatched to one.

5. I'm obsessed with wedding dresses. I love looking at them and have a secret fantasy to be a wedding dress designer. I've just starting sewing classes as I can't even take up hems.


6. I used to be a surflife saver and spent a lot of time swimming in the surf and surfing with my siblings and cousins. I developed a really bad shark phobia about 10 years ago and no longer swim much in the ocean and especially not out deep.